I love a good playdate. Ho, do I! Seriously, they can be so boss. I get to see new people, play with new toys, get snacks (om nom nom), and only sometimes do I get hit in the face with a ball. Like, only a third of the time! It’s a good life.
But my last playdate was with a nice boy at a community pool, which I did not enjoy. I love bath time, I love splashing, I love spraying myself in the face with my sippy cup, and I even love my baby pool.
But CHILD PLEASE! This giant monstrosity filled with Other People’s Pee? I’m okay with sitting in MY pee, but someone else’s?! No thanks. NOT down with O.P.P.
I’m a brave soul, so I approached the pool, even gingerly touched a toe in, before realizing how evil the thing was. It was going to GET ME! In my state of mild discomfort (Mom might call it a tantrum, but she is SO melodramatic), I was removed from the pool and relocated to the sidelines, where my ice-cold sippy cup of water was waiting for me.
Oh sweet relief! I could enjoy a cold pop far away from Other People’s Pee.
I sat on the blanket with my liquid refreshment and chatted with my little friend. It was our second playdate, so we were past the awkward stage. We could really get to know each other. Maybe even hold hands. I daresay it was going swimmingly (pun very much intended). But then… out of nowhere… this “nice boy” reached over and tried to gank my cup!
Oh no you didn’t!
I looked on in horror as he crept over to it, his eyes on the prize. He tried not once, not twice, but seemingly a billion times! His mom had to grab him so he wouldn’t drain the precious nectar. I saw my life flash before my eyes.
Eventually, I just put it to him this way. I said, “Bro, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself.” (In Bro Code, that’s realtalk.) He understood me then, and backed off, and we spent the rest of our time together talking about how much we love drinks.
We’re totes going on a third date, and I don’t want to jinx it, but I think we’re going to be BBFLs… Beverage Buddies For Life.
Keep your eyes on my blue and red sippy cup in the bottom left corner. And the bandit on the right! INJUSTICE!
the coupon baby 